大學里,你的室友可能你們來自不同的地方,有不同的生活理念,有不同生活方式,你們互相適應得還好嗎?有沒有同學為如何和室友友好相處煩惱不已,會不會室友所做的有些事情令你煩惱不已,而你有不知道如何處理。今天我們就來說說在怎么解決和室友的生活沖突。
You will most likely have a least one time in your college career where your roommate will do something that either frustrates or upsets you, maybe even consistently. If you bring it up the first time it bothers you in an appropriate manner, the chances of the issue being resolved automatically increase a bunch! With that, here’s my take on how to deal with a roommate confrontation.
大學生活中,你很可能會遇到你室友所作所為令你煩惱或難過的情況,至少一次,也許甚至持續(xù)很多次。如果當這些令你不滿的事情第一發(fā)生的時候你就用適當?shù)姆绞教岢隹棺h,這些沖突被解決的幾率會大大增加。那么,我就來說說怎么與室友的“交鋒”。
FIRST, ASK NICELY
第一招:好商好量
If you go at them like you’re going to rip their head off, it’s probably gonna end badly. The first time you catch something that is bothersome, simply ask them to do it differently. Example – “Hey, can you put your dishes in the dishwasher next time you walk in the kitchen? That would really help me out when I’m cooking later!”
如果你去和他們談的時候氣勢洶洶、像是要去把人家頭揪下來的架勢,結(jié)果會很糟糕。煩心事第一次發(fā)生的時候,最簡單的問他們能否采取其他的方式。例如,“喂,你下次進廚房的時候可不可以把你的盤子放在洗碗機里?那樣的話我一會做飯的時候就方便多啦!”
DON’T TAKE FOREVER TO DISCUSS YOUR CONCERNS
第二招:別讓擔憂無止境
Aka, don’t wait an entire semester to approach them with whatever is bothering you! It will be counterproductive to start up a new semester saying “So, last semester it drove me nuts when you never took out the trash…let’s work on that this semester.” They will undoubtedly ask you why you didn’t say something earlier.
即,不要等上整整一學期才告訴他們你有什么不滿!新學期伊始,“那個,上學期你從來不到垃圾,我都要瘋了,這學期改改吧。”這樣只會事與愿違。他們會毫不猶豫的問你怎么不早點說。
NOW, HAVE A SIT DOWN
第三招:坐下談談
A calm one, at that. Just be like “Hey, can I talk to you about something really quick! It’s not a big deal, I just wanted to ask a favor of you!” Lay out exactly what you’re having a problem with and be clear in why it troubles you.
一次冷靜的談話,就這樣。好比“喂,我能和你談談嗎,很快的!也不是什么大事,我就是想問你幫個忙!”告訴他們你的不滿并明確的告訴他們?yōu)槭裁茨菢訒鼓阈臒?/p>
AVOID GOSSIPING TO OTHERS
第四招:勿要八卦
This one is a biggie. Just avoid this, because if your roomie catches wind that you’re talking about her “bad habits” or how “annoying she is,” then I can promise you absolutely nothing will get resolved. If anything, it will only make the tension between the two of you worse.
這可是個大事兒。反正就別做,因為如果你室友捕風捉影發(fā)現(xiàn)你正在大談她的“壞習慣”或是說她有多討厭,我敢打包票什么問題都解決不了。如果能改變什么,估計只是使你們倆的關(guān)系變得更緊張、更糟糕。
OFFER UP A SOLUTION AND SAY THANK YOU
第五招:我有解決辦法,謝謝你
Also very important. Don’t have a sit down without having a way to resolve the issue. If for some reason you can’t think of one, ask them for their thoughts or if there’s something you can do to help as well. Oh, and say thank you in regards to them being willing to sit down and hear you out! Thank you’s always make a big difference in the long run!
這點也很重要。如果你也沒有解決辦法,就別和室友坐下談。如果由于種種原因,你也想不出解決辦法,問問他們的想法,或者問問有什么你可以幫助的。哦,記得對他們愿意坐下、聽你說完表示謝謝。“謝謝”從長遠來看總是讓事情有所不同!
HIGHLIGHT THEIR STRENGTHS
第六招:記得別人的好
It sucks to have someone sit you down and tell you something you’re doing (whether intentionally or not) is bugging them to no end. After you talk about what is upsetting you, make sure to highlight something you appreciate about them or that they’re doing right…”Thanks for keeping the living room clear of your things after you’re done studying, but is there any way you could vacuum a little more often! It’ll lessen the load for us both!”
有人叫你坐下然后喋喋不休、沒完沒了的告訴你你所做的事情(不論故意與否)使他們很心煩,這是件很糟糕的事情。當你敘述過了是你難過的事情,一定要強調(diào)一下你對他們所做的其他事情的欣賞與感激,或是表揚他們做的對的事情……“很感謝你在學習之后把客廳收拾得那么干凈,但是有沒有可能你能用吸塵器清掃得再經(jīng)常一點!這樣可以減輕我們倆的負擔!”
IF IT CONTINUES, APPROACH THE HOUSEHOLD (IF APPLICABLE)
第七招:如果還是不行,找其他房客(如果適用)
This is only if you live with more than one person. Because if something is affecting you, then it might be affecting the rest of your household too. Have a “house meeting” instead of a roommate meeting, and follow the same steps I discussed above!
這招只能在你和多人合住的時候才有用。因為如果某些事影響你,很有可能也影響了其他房客。既然和室友說不通,取而代之,開個“房客大會”,依然可以使用上述六招!