Like most people, I suppose, I try to avoid seeming like a jerk.

我想，和大多數(shù)人一樣，我試著讓自己不要看上去像個混蛋。

Here are some strategies I try to use:

下面是一些我會用到的方法：

1. Offer meaningful compliments.

1.說一些有意義的贊美。

Emphasis on the "meaningful." I try to say things like, “You have a good memory” or “You obviously know a lot about this subject.” Empty, automatic compliments like “Great tie!” don’t count.

重點在有意義上。我試著說一些這樣的話：“你記性真好”或者“你顯然對這個問題非常了解。”空洞且不假思索的贊美，譬如“這條領(lǐng)帶不錯”，完全沒任何意義。

2. Give credit to others.

2.歸功于他人。

“The team did all the work,” “Pat came up with this idea.” Being generous with giving credit does not minimize your contribution.“

是大家完成了所有工作，”“Pat想出了這個主意。”大方地將功勞歸功于別人并不會減少你的貢獻。

3. Ask questions and allow others to supply information.

3.提問并讓他人回答。

I’ve seen good leaders ask questions to which they knew the answers, merely to allow others the chance to demonstrate what they know. This is a challenge for me. I find it hard to ask for help, to say, “I don’t know,” or keep quiet while others respond.

我見到過一些好的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者會問一些已經(jīng)知道答案的問題，僅僅是為了讓其他人有機會說話。這對我是一個挑戰(zhàn)。找別人幫忙，回答“我不懂”，或者在別人作答時保持安靜對我來說都挺難的。

4. Admit error!

4.承認錯誤!

It’s so hard to say “You were right, I was wrong” or “This was my fault,” but so important. Also, it’s a key to leadership. As my father once told me, “If you’ll take responsibility for failure, you’ll be given responsibility for decisions.”

說“你是對的，我是錯的”或者“這是我的錯”非常難，但卻非常重要。而且，承認錯誤也是領(lǐng)導(dǎo)力的關(guān)鍵。我爸爸有次對我說，“如果你能對失敗負責(zé)，那么你將能被委以重任。“

5. Remember other people’s names and some details of their lives.

5.記住他人的名字及一些生活細節(jié)。

How many times have you heard people complain that “So-and-so has met me five times, but never remembers me”? It hurts people’s feelings.

有多少次你聽到別人抱怨道“某某人都見了我5次了，還記不住我的名字”。這都是在傷害別人的感情。

6. Call on others for their specific contributions.

6.邀請他人提供看法。

“Pat is our expert on that,” “Lee, what do you think?”“

Pat是這方面的專家，”“Lee，你怎么看?”

7. Teasing.

7.逗人開心。

One way of showing fellow feeling is teasing people – gently. People liked to be joshed, but not about anything sensitive.

有一種與人打成一片的方式就是禮貌地和別人開玩笑。人們喜歡開玩笑，只要不是敏感的話題。

8. Remember your limits.

8.記住你不是萬能的。

You’re just one person. You’re not infallible. It actually is possible that you’re wrong.

你只是一個普通人。你不可能永遠正確。有些時候很有可能錯的就是你。

9. Don’t be a bore.

9.不要做一個無趣的人。

Don't assume that others are as interested in the minutiae of your life as you are.

不要假設(shè)別人和你一樣，對你生活的瑣事感興趣。

10.Be courteous to others, no matter who they are.

10.不管對方是誰，都要禮貌相待。

William Lyon Phelps wrote, “The final test of a gentleman is his respect for those who can be of no possible service to him.” It's important to be nice to everyone.

威廉-利昂-菲爾普斯(美國教育家，文學(xué)評論家和演說家，耶魯大學(xué)教授與學(xué)者)曾經(jīng)寫道：這是對君子的一項決定性的實驗：他是否尊重對自己可能毫無用處的人。對每個人都要友好，這一點很重要。