雅思寫作見官死開頭
來源:易賢網(wǎng) 閱讀:886 次 日期:2016-01-11 10:07:22
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對于一篇雅思大作文來說,開頭部分無疑是最為重要的。盡管西彥有云: “Don’t judge a book by its cover”,但實(shí)際上絕大多數(shù)的考官在評卷的時候主要就是看一篇文章的開頭寫的怎么樣。打一個不太恰當(dāng)?shù)谋扔?,開頭的部分就好比人的一張臉,只要你脖子以上長得像言承旭一樣女fans就已經(jīng)為你驚聲尖叫了,才不管你脖子以下到底長得什么樣。

在雅思界,流傳著這樣一句很經(jīng)典的話:“所謂比較認(rèn)真負(fù)責(zé),比較專業(yè)的雅思寫作考官,就是會把每篇文章第二段第二句都仔細(xì)看一遍的考官……” 由此可見大多數(shù)考官其實(shí)就是 “Judge an essay by its introduction”的。因此對于廣大雅思考生來說,寫好開頭的部分就能給考官留下一個很好的第一印象,從而更容易得到比較高的分?jǐn)?shù)。然而,我們中國考區(qū)的很多雅思考生卻往往因?yàn)樵陂_頭部分犯了這樣或者那樣的錯誤,從而導(dǎo)致寫出來的文章開頭“慘不忍睹”,套用武俠小說的話來說,就是能讓看了你文章的考官“輕則內(nèi)傷,重則當(dāng)場吐血身亡”,呵呵,好像夸張了一點(diǎn),但考官即使不真的吐血,看到你的作文開頭實(shí)在問題太多太大,他直接手起刀落“咯嚓”一聲把你的文章直接“槍斃”掉總行吧?為此,俞老師特地整理了同學(xué)們在寫作開頭過程當(dāng)中最頻繁出現(xiàn)的10大問題進(jìn)行分析,稱之為“見官死”開頭,各位同學(xué)只要能夠牢記10大“見官死”開頭的典型癥狀,并且能夠?qū)ΠY下藥的確保自己的文章不出現(xiàn)10大“見官死”開頭的任何一種,就至少能夠確保你的文章得分在6分以上! 今天先來跟同學(xué)們一起來看“見官死”開頭之一。

廢話連篇不知所云

典型失敗案例:

Topic 1-Should college students be allowed to get married?

This topic is very interesting. I’m very interested in talking about this topic. Because I’m also a college student and I’m not married……

分析: 這里所有的案例全部都是真人真事搬上銀幕-都是我從同學(xué)們平時的習(xí)作當(dāng)中“精選”出來的。先來看這個案例,題目問你應(yīng)不應(yīng)該允許大學(xué)生結(jié)婚,而作者一上來先是對這個Topic大加贊揚(yáng),說題目“很有趣”,自己對于談?wù)撨@個話題“很感興趣”,然后又開始作起自我介紹來了……我跟這篇開頭的“作者”有過交流,我問他為什么想到要這樣寫,他說:“老師我聽說雅思作文的題目就是那些評卷的考官出的,所以我一上來先把他們出的考題先大~大地贊美一番那可能考官看了很高興就會給我一個比較高的分?jǐn)?shù)了……”唉,小孩子什么不學(xué)學(xué)大人拍馬屁倒學(xué)得挺快!但是在這里我要鄭重告訴大家你這樣做的話是絕~對~絕~對不會有用的,先不管出題的考官和評卷的考官正好是同一人的概率有多大,雅思寫作考官評價你的文章看的是你的文章里面有多少“Quality Words”。所以不管你在文章開頭多么煽情地,賣力地試圖通過對Topic本身評頭論足來“討好”考官都是不會有任何用處的,因?yàn)檫@些內(nèi)容都不屬于“Quality Words”的范疇,在考官的眼里都是廢話而已。

結(jié)論:在雅思大作文開頭的兩個“千萬不要”

1.千萬不要對題目本身的好壞難易進(jìn)行評頭論足。哪怕你心里真的覺得這個題目出得很好或者真的很弱智。

2. 千萬不要在文章開頭對自己的情況進(jìn)行介紹,這不是口語考試,考官根本沒有興趣知道你是誰。

Topic 2-The importance of environmental protection

Oh, this topic is surely very important. Isn’t it? Of course! It’s really very very important!

分析:環(huán)保的重要性到底體現(xiàn)在哪里?講了半天等于什么都沒講……

Topic 3-Will modern technology, such as the Internet, ever replace the book or the writing word as the sole source of information?

Ok, this topic is a very good topic. First, let me tell you a story: I have a friend, he likes go on the internet very much. Every day, he uses internet to read news or play internet games. So we can see the internet is more and more important in our daily life.

分析:典型的一個“審題混亂+邏輯混亂+用詞混亂”的“三亂開頭”。首先題目讓我們談的是以internet為代表的現(xiàn)代技術(shù)會不會取代傳統(tǒng)紙媒體,而該文幾乎都在講internet怎樣怎樣,此一宗罪也;其次在邏輯上因?yàn)椤拔矣幸粋€朋友很喜歡上網(wǎng)”就能推出“網(wǎng)絡(luò)越來越重要”嗎?此第二宗罪;第三用詞上也有問題,“上網(wǎng)”應(yīng)該是“surf the internet”,“go on the internet”屬于作者自己的發(fā)明創(chuàng)造。此外這個例子也舉的非常不具有典型性,因此四罪并伐,直接拖出去斬了!

Topic4-Your opinion on DINK families

My opinion on DINK families is that DINK families is not a good thing. And it is a bad thing. It brings no benefits to our society and it is even sometimes harmful to our society.

分析:看上去寫了3句話其實(shí)就一個意思:Dink Families不好!明明一句話就能說清楚的,干嘛要這么羅嗦地翻來覆去變著方的來講同一個意思?讓我俞老師來揭穿他:他想混~字~數(shù)~!對于一些基礎(chǔ)比較薄弱的同學(xué)來說,雅思大作文250字的字?jǐn)?shù)要求很讓他們頭疼,于是就出此把一句話翻來覆去說的下策??墒沁@樣做的話真的是太侮辱考官的智商了,要知道這根本是小學(xué)生才會玩的把戲,下面一則笑話可資證明:

小明是一個小學(xué)二年級的學(xué)生,老師要求每個同學(xué)寫一篇兩百字的日記,可是小明寫到“昨天我的小狗小白不見了,我很著急,到街上去找它”就靈感枯竭再也寫不下去了,小明抓破頭皮想了半天,忽然想到一個“好辦法”-他繼續(xù)寫道:“為了找到小白,我在大街上一遍又一遍地呼喊著小白的名字:小白~小白~小白~小白~小白~”
過分簡單 沒有重點(diǎn)

典型失敗案例:

Topic-The importance of environmental protection

This issue is surely very important, let’s talk about it!

用詞不當(dāng) 表達(dá)不準(zhǔn)

典型失敗案例:

Topic-Should college students be allowed to get married?

I think college students should not be allowed to get married because they are very young and so we can’t take the responsibility to form a family.

意思重復(fù) 原地踏步

典型失敗案例:

Topic-Your opinion on DINK families

My opinion on DINK families is that DINK families is not a good thing. And it is a bad thing. It brings no benefits to our society and it is even sometimes harmful to our society.

中國俗語 胡亂翻譯

典型失敗案例:

Topic 1-Is it good to have a large family?

I think it is good to have a large family. Because we Chinese believe a sentence: “Many sons, many lucks”……

正確說法:Happiness lies in having many children

Topic 2 -Should we pretend to know everything or admit our ignorance?

We all know, our Chinese old fathers and grandfathers said: “Know is know, don’t know is don’t know”……

Topic 3- Do you think one’s character is greatly influenced by his/her family?

Chinese old words says very good: Dragon born dragon, phoenix born phoenix, rat’s son can make hole……

Topic 4- The advantage of being a nice person

I believe one sentence:“A good person is all life safe”. We Chinese people always say: “Good has good pay, bad has bad pay”.

觀點(diǎn)武斷 態(tài)度強(qiáng)硬

典型失敗案例:

Topic1-The importance of confidence

In my opinion, confidence is the most important thing for a person. All the successful people in the world are full of confidence. While those people who don’t have confidence, they all have failed.

Topic 2 - The solution to the traffic problem

I think to solve the traffic problem, very easy! For those who don’t obey the traffic rules, we should put all of them into prison. If we do that, I’m sure there will be no traffic problem any more.

更多信息請查看留學(xué)英語寫作
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